"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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