There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I just gargled with NyQuil
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
