need another drink. this is the easiest way
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
