YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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