We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
