also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
