you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Randomize
