I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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