I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
