does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
