do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
