It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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