I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Randomize
