He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Alive.
So much puke
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
