Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Randomize
