You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize
