Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
