it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Randomize
