And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
