i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
barbara walters just said penis...
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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