No, drunk sperm still make babies.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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