There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
