woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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