dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
