Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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