Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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