Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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