Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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