Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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