is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
high people should be assigned attendants
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
