apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Dear god my vagina.
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