i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
