He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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