who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
