He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
