This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
