I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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