haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
