She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
you made out with another girl for some wings
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
