Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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