Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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