Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I think my vagina is haunted
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
