i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
is that a dick in a sweater?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
