Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
