Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
So many bounce houses so little time
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
