Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
