Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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