you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
