I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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