Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
