Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks

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(318): View more from Louisiana

i was rollin on her like bob the builder

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(352): View more from Florida

He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.

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(630): View more from Illinois

There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.

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(209): View more from California

Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.

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(314): View more from Missouri

Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.

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(773): View more from Illinois

I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.

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