im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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