you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Randomize
